I promised you in my last post that I would share the deets of PM’s new finger trick and that this information was going to blow your mind. So without (too much) further adieu...
After PM finger fucked me into a mind-shattering oblivion the other day (and following our shag, where I came hard again, because I was so sensitive by that point), I demanded he enlighten me on what in the heck he had done with his fingers. The sensation was extremely intense, almost too much, and quite distinct from anything I‘ve experienced before. PM often gets me off with a “come hither” curl of the fingers alongside clitoral stimulation, but this was not that. It felt quite literally like my body shifted into a whole different gear within minutes.
PM has dubbed his new move “the Wishbone.” (Yes, he names sex moves, but he’s not the only one — just ask me about the “Justin Trudeau”! 😆) The reason for the name (“the Wishbone,” not the “JT”) will be become apparent when I describe what he’s doing (and why), but it is the science behind it that is really going to make you question everything you thought you knew about the female body. “The Wishbone” involves two fingers spread apart inside the vagina, like the peace sign ✌️, and these fingers are then repeatedly curled. So basically you’ve got the “come hither” curl but with the twist of having the two fingers spread into the shape of — yes! now you see it! — a wishbone.
Now, two quick asides before I blow your mind. During our regular Netflix and chill session the other night (a steamy nightly ritual of sorts that PM and I have that I will talk more about at another time), PM used this technique on me again, and my body had the same over the top reaction, and I climaxed a lot quicker than usual. And then, we got the same result the night after that. So while this isn’t a vigorous double-blind study or anything, I’m sold that this is indeed a real thing, at least for my body. But before you run off to lock yourself in your bedroom, let me also say that I cannot replicate this on myself. Maybe it’s just a function of my having petite fingers, but the angle is too sharp for me to be able to spread my fingers and have enough leverage to do this move on myself. But in my head, I am totally mocking up a prototype of a new vibrating dildo with two “fingers”… (To my industrial design friends: we are doing this!) Anyway…I promised SCIENCE!!👩🔬 I should start by first stating that I am not a medical professional. I am simply sharing with you now what I have only just discovered within the last week regarding the true nature of a part my own body that plays a significant role in my sexual fulfillment.
Assuming you may have not met properly before, let me introduce you to the clitoris!
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Yes, this is what the whole friggin’ clitoris looks like! And yes, it's that big!
To say that I was shocked and then fascinated is not an understatement. Apparently, the part that we commonly refer to as the clitoris or clit is only the tip, or the glans, of a much larger wishbone-shaped iceberg. What I always knew as my clit represents only the very tip of the top section of the wishbone — the part that goes up and then hooks back down. So…the clitoris actually has arms (the outer pair of pillars called crura) and bulbs (the inner pair) that extend internally along the front vaginal wall and down around the urethra and vaginal entrance. And the entire structure is made up of the same erectile tissue as the glans (and the male penis, as it so happens).
So what does this mean? It means that this whole damn thing gets swollen during sexual arousal and is sensitive to stimulation, not just externally, but also internally. Mind blown yet? Because I did not know any of this.
To give you a better sense of how this internal map relates to your external anatomy (because we need to know how to use this to get off better, obviously), this next image — my own inelegant overlay of the 3D clitoris onto a vulva diagram from Wikimedia Commons — may help.
1. Clitoral Hood, 2. Clitoris, 3. Labia majora, 4. Urinary opening, 5. Labia minora, 6. Anus, 7. Vaginal opening, 8. Perineum
After coming across this information about the clitoris, all I could think was, how have I never seen this in a diagram before? And then my next thought, am I the only woman who was in the dark on this? Having shown this to some friends who also have clitorises, I found that less than half of them knew about the internal parts of the clit (one of whom is an MD). Now it is true that, relatively speaking, this is a recent scientific discovery (first brought to light by Helen O’Connell in 1998 but only first observed in living subjects through MRI in 2005). But considering that half of us in the world have clitorises, shouldn’t we all know about this by now? I mean, come on! Scientists, get your shit together! You’ve had 20 years to get this info out!
To be fair, while this is something that PM and I had never heard of before last week, a quick Google search for "clitoris anatomy" told me that the information is, in fact, out there, be it in the form of medical articles or wellness blogs or even Wikipedia. Granted, PM and I were already adults when this discovery was made and I naturally tend to focus my "research" on the workings of the penis *winks*, but PM has done his own "study" over the years (such as listening to the podcast Sex with Emily), and this was news to him also. Unfortunate coincidence? Perhaps. Conspiracy? Probably not. Frustrating as hell? Definitely.
For a brief overview of the hurdles involved within the scientific and medical communities in drawing attention to the clitoris, see this article in The Guardian by Calla Wahlquist from October 31, 2020.
On the creation of a 3D-model of the clitoris by French researcher Odile Fillod and the role it's playing in dispelling misinformation about the female organ, see this article in The Atlantic by Naomi Russo from March 9, 2017. (The article includes a link for downloading the free 3D-model so that you can print your very own clitoris model!)
Now I’ve certainly seen many internal anatomical diagrams of the penis over the years. The penis I feel like I know. I feel confident I know all of what PM is packing, what it does, and what to do with it.
In terms of female anatomy, I know what the uterus looks like along with the fallopian tubes. I’ve seen it in diagram form countless times –– I could draw it from memory right now. And I know where my clitoral hood is located, over the nub of erectile tissue labeled on said diagrams as the clitoris (and which popular culture had led me to believe was a tiny female equivalent to the penis *rolls eyes*). Why the heck is this the first time I’m hearing about the extensive internal parts of my clitoris?!
Of course, my question is merely rhetorical because I, as an inhabitant of a female body, already know why. It’s purpose is female pleasure, unrelated to reproduction, and therefore, has been of little interest to a historically male-controlled scientific and medical community. *scowls and throws the bird* But enough about stupid penis-havers. (Not all penis-owners, obviously; just the willfully ignorant ones.)
Now that I have a better idea of my actual anatomy, PM’s new finger technique, “the Wishbone,” looks more like applied science and less like magic, but, hot damn, it still feels magical to me!
And, yes, the whole move was a deliberate experiment on his part. PM and I had watched an educational video on female masturbation made by an OB/GYN (which was so good, btw), because...why not? And then the next time we got frisky, "I just visualized where everything was located and tried to hit it," he explains. (Aren't I a lucky girl?) I told you! Applied science!
Now how does this relate to the supposed G-spot? If we believe the hype, this location can be stimulated using the famed “come hither” finger curl. Well, unsurprising given our newly acquired knowledge about clitoral anatomy, many scientists now argue that the “G-spot” is not really a thing in and of itself, and if anything, probably part of the clitoris being stimulated through the vaginal wall.
Regardless of whether or not there is an actual G-spot, those of us inhabiting a female body have a lot more going on down there than many of us were led to believe. The old adage is true here: knowledge is power. And I know what I am going to do with that power. *wink wink* I'm gonna take that wishbone by the reins! Yee-haw!
Here's a fun Cosmo article entitled "The G-spot Doesn't Exist" by Elizabeth Kiefer from April 7, 2020, where they quote author Emily Nagoski who says it best, "If it feels good, you're doing it right." Whether "the Wishbone" move or something else, I'm finding what works for me and keeping PM in the loop.
I'd be remiss if I didn't share with you a very cool project called The Vulva Gallery. The Vulva Gallery, brainchild of Amsterdam-based illustrator Hilde Atalanta (with whom I had the pleasure of corresponding in researching this blog post), is an "an educational platform centred around illustrated vulva portraits and personal stories, and a wonderful, supportive and positive community – celebrating the vulva in all its diversity all over the world." Their book A Celebration of Vulva Diversity boasts over 650 color illustrations and features a chapter on anatomy and sexual health, including elegant renderings of the clitoral anatomy relative to the vulva (which put my poor photoshop attempt above to shame).
And if you want a 3D-model of the clitoris and don't want to print one yourself, you can purchase one (with a 3D-model vulva into which it fits) through the Etsy shop ClitoClito.
So that's this week's peek into my sexy, messy life. And whether or not you already knew the (largely) untold story of the clitoris, if you are the owner of one, do be sure that the sexual partner in your life has this knowledge, too. (And may you be well-served for doing so! 😉) And please, pass on this revelation to the other clitoris-owners in your life (or better yet, send them to my blog!), because it's science and we all deserve to know what our bodies are all about!
And finally, I’d love to hear from you, my readers. Please do leave me a comment and let me know if your mind was blown, like mine. (And feel free to overshare and let me know if you’ve tried “the Wishbone” with a partner and if it‘s worked for you, too!)
Until next time, stay kinky 😉
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